Considering that apps like Tinder are often considered unwelcoming if not downright hostile to women and LGBT people, it's not so surprising that these users would migrate elsewhere to get laid. But it is somewhat surprising that they'd flock to Reddit, a website that's been trying to shed its reputation as a bastion of sexism for years.
But one reason why Ryan and other Redditors are flocking to subreddits is to escape some of the pomp and circumstance you'll find in places like Tinder and OKCupid, which have a tendency to dress up the stark reality of hookup culture into something a little more modest and demure. Hell, even Tinder's own CEO denies that it's a hookup app. But instead of Tinder users coding lascivious desires in Drake quotes on their profiles "I'm looking for a good time, not a long time!
There isn't the same backlash as I would imagine you'd probably receive on more traditional dating sites. She's not wrong. You'd get a lot of left swipes and a lot of trolling if you came clean on Tinder about your deep-seated incestuous fantasy or your marital status. But on a platform like Reddit, people are more open about their sexual desires, whether they're taboo or not. Reddit can also be an inclusive space for LGBT people.
Kelly, an older transgender woman, said she's also seen a number of posts from transgender users on various subreddits. It's written in clear, plainspoken language , using the same language you or I might use to try to sell a couch on Craigslist. Unlike other dating sites, everyone on Reddit admits they're there for the same thing: For all its faults, Reddit is a place where you can fuck without fear of judgment.
Are we empowered or just horny? I would love to be as thin and delicate as the skinniest catwalk model, but while I admire that body aesthetically, I never want to bang those waifs. I want to bang girls with lovely breasts and curving waists and the kind of thighs that could wrap strongly around my head. It's just - weird, that the kind of girl I want to look like, the ideal that I hate myself for falling short of, isn't at all the kind of girl I'm sexually attracted to. I'd just like to say we should all accept our bodies the way they are, be healthy instead of striving for some ideal.
I can imagine though, that there could be insecurity in LGBT relationships for some people, in terms of comparing yourself to the other. Cis, straight men and women won't have this issue because their bodies are very different to begin with. Just imagine any time you broke up with someone and later saw them with someone you knew, and add in kinda being into the person they're dating now too as well as still having feelings for them.
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This is one of those universal things that lesbians and gays complain about, no matter where they're from. Even if you're in a big city, you still probably go to the same few bars with the same crowd or you're all in the same women's soccer league etc.
The incestuousness of a small community is an unfortunate part of queer life. There is a very strong sense of culture in the community, some people take it very seriously. I don't participate, not because I don't agree with it well thats a lie, I think most of it is stupid but more like I just don't feel any connection, but some times I date guys who only hang out with gay people and don't have any straight friends at all who aren't women. This can get kind of "weird". It's kind of the old story of not getting along with your significant other's friends with a strange twist.
I'm personally well into gay culture, but I know people who aren't and they have their own reasons. Perhaps they don't want to fit a stereotype or be constricted to one tribe and that's cool, whatever makes you happy. I think you can do both though, enjoy gay culture and hanging out with other gays, while still doing your own thing and hanging out with whoever you want to. My boyfriend is not completely out, but I love his family.
I know they would accept him, but he is afraid. It is difficult because I love spending time with his family.
I don't like being the best friend, though. Another is public outness. I'm very out, but very aware of my surroundings and safety. We are not big guys, we are small and nerdy. Neither of us is muscular or intimidating. I know that we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves in a fight, so I'm always looking over my shoulder before I hold his hand.
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You'd think in this day and age that everyone who is gay would just be out. But unfortunately it's not true, some LGBT people can't come out to their families for fear of rejection. It's sad, but hopefully we can become progressive enough that it becomes easier for those people. It can be really tough to meet someone when you're gay because you have no way of knowing for sure of a man's orientation other than by using intuition.
Unless you go to a gay club, you just can't know for sure. And unfortunately, a lot of men, myself included, don't like the gay bars. Most of the highest quality men I've met have been from dating websites and I'm not ashamed in the least. There's a definite stigma that straight people my age 24 face when dating online--at least in the crowd I run in. I always have to preface an explanation about how I met someone with how it's the acceptable thing to do with the gays.
It's not fair. Straight people have a whole buffet of other straight people in front of them at all times. If a straight male sees an attractive female from across the room, he knows there is at some level a "chance" that the two of them could be together. Obviously he may not have talked to her there, but odds are that basic framework of potential attraction exists. When a gay man spots another man, unless he relies on stereotypes, he really has no idea if this fundamental potential exists. Odds are against him. So, for him, he must spend a large portion of his time just finding out if that BASIC level of potential attraction required for any romantic relationship is there.
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